The Breakfast Diet

The Breakfast Diet

By Mr Breakfast

Special note: The Breakfast Diet is temporarily on hold while Mr Breakfast tries to determine why he gained three pounds.

Week One (Diary Entry Dated August 8, 2002)

Last week had its good points and bad. My resolve to eat only ice cream-free smoothies and raw vegetables was broken by day two. I expanded the parameters of the diet to fit my need for a broader menu. Steamed vegetables are now allowed as snacks. Ice Cream is now allowed in smoothies, as long as it's fat-free ice cream. Oatmeal is now a meal option. Perhaps the most dramatic change to the breakfast diet was the inclusion of egg white or eggbeater vegetable omelettes.

I chalked these changes/additions up to learning. Clearly, it was for the betterment of the plan. Nobody is going to stick to a diet that can't be adjusted to his or her daily temperament. Options, I discovered, were important.

The limitation of options in the first two days was advantageous from a mental perspective. Sticking to only a couple forms of food was a way to hunker down and say, "I am now on a diet." I had always pictured that the Breakfast Diet would be an "expanding diet". I like the idea that if you complete a given week, the menu can expand slightly the following week. A diet, I believe, needs a system of motivation and reward built into it. If it were motivation enough to have a thinner frame, there wouldn't be all these fatties walking around.

On day five and throughout the weekend, I felt like a million dollars. Eating healthier had boosted my energy. This was not the case in the preceding days. On day one, I was extremely gassy, blowing wind and burping That subsided by day two, however I was fatigued that day and the two that followed. I suspect that the body rebels against a change to its habits. Making me feel tired was my body's way of saying, "Give me some sugar dude. That always revs you up." I resisted and toughed it out. "Get sugar from the fruit," I shouted back. I crossed a hump sometime during day four. Me and body became friends again. It got down with breakfast and gave me back my energy.

I made some mistakes. One evening I was out of fruit. I was too lazy to go to the store, so I made a smoothie anyway. Unfortunately, a smoothie without fruit is pretty much just a shake. If I could have that day back, I'd have walked to the store. The simple trick is to burn more calories while consuming fewer calories. If you're going to be lazy about your diet, you should get off your diet.

I don't mean to get all Dr. Phil on you, but diets are simple things. Eat less and do more. My complaints about the Hollywood Diet and the Atkins Diet are not that they are widely considered to be unhealthy. My beef is that they tell you the best way to get from point A to point B is by taking a sidewinder to point X. These diets are a slap in the face to nature. Simple nature, the God-force as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, lays it down every second for us to see. People that eat less are thin. People that eat more are fat. My hat is off to any of those people who lost weight by making tuna noodle casserole with pork rinds in place of noodles (Atkins Diet). I think it's remarkable. But for me, I'd rather loose weight working with nature than cheating it.

Another big mistake I made was boozing myself into a stupor one night. Granted, there's nothing wrong with a weekly boozer. But if you're on a diet, you have to remember that your body has less food in it to counter the alcohol. I can't imagine that your friend Mr Breakfast appeared too classy chatting up loose broads with a stain on his shirt and eyes that could barely focus. The Breakfast Diet will continue to include a few drinks on the weekend, however the number of cocktails allowed will be reduced to four a week.

In summary, week one was a success in terms of weight lose. Four pounds are gone. There are eleven more to go. In regards to being gassy and unclassy, I can only hope these unfortunate side effects will not recur.

Plan For Week Two

Three meals a day. Two of those three must consist of either a smoothie or oatmeal. Options for the remaining meal: a smoothie, oatmeal, an egg white or eggbeater vegetable omelete or another healthy breakfast (the options of which which I will discuss in the weeks to come). Sunday Dinner remains a get-out-of-jail-free card. Exercising for an hour a day remains a key ingredient of the diet.

I will introduce visualization, picturing myself thinner and sexier.

Next Week: What do nutritionists think of the Breakfast Diet?

Previous Diary entry: Day One - August 1, 2002

I just noticed something disturbing while bending forward in front of the mirror. My belly has gotten really big. I jiggled it around a little. At first it was funny, but then I got to thinking. What kind of image was I promoting? While delivering the message that you could enjoy breakfast regularly and be healthier than the next guy, my body was delivering the message that breakfast makes you fat.

Mr Breakfast is human. Sure, you're used to the larger than life character... the celebrity... the symbol. But when he's out of the limelight, he's just a regular guy. He drinks booze. He smokes a cigarette in times of stress. Sometimes he feels lonely. And sometimes, he over-eats to fill the void.

It's not an unfamiliar story. From Britney Spears and Carnie Wilson to your neighbor and maybe even to you, we all have a void we need to fill and we all end up filling it with something. For me, Mr Breakfast, the time has come for action and I'll tell you a secret. You can fill your void with cocktails. You can try deserts. You can even attempt to fill it with cheap sex. But the only way your void will ever go away is if you fill it with something pure, something lodged in love. I vow this day, by God and by heaven, I will fill my void the only way I know how. I will fill it with breakfast and I will prove to the world that I can lose weight doing it.

The Plan
  • Week One - Smoothies:
    My diet will consist of nothing but blended drinks, rich in fruit. No ice cream is allowed in the blender. Sherbet or soy-bert is allowed. In times when a blended drink is not available, I may have a store-bought nutrition bar, such as a Balance Bar or a Power Bar. Snacking is allowed, even encouraged... with the stipulation that all snacks consist of raw vegetables. Sunday dinner is a get-out-of-jail-free card. I may eat anything for that meal within reason. I will exercise one hour per day.

Future Weeks
Admittedly, this diet will develop as it goes along. Of next week and the weeks to come, I can only be sure of one thing: I will prove to the world that you can lose weight eating breakfast. And there will be some egg-white omelettes.

If you're a fatty like me, I encourage you join my campaign. Share with me your story. Together, we will lead a revolution. If you're skinny, or a fatty diluted into thinking you don't need to take action, tune in next week... for the living experiment I call... The Breakfast Diet.

This article was written by Mr Breakfast (aka Eddy Chavey).

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